December 27th

Christmas is now over – and it is time to move on.   I know it is only December 27th, but I can’t wait to take the Christmas decorations down and get back to life as we know it.  I would usually have started taking the tree and other misc stuff down by now, but the kids and husband are adamant about leaving it up.   My thoughts ….. when it is over it is over.    I have enjoyed the season and the decorations, but by now, I am so over it!

This week between Christmas and New Years is always a VERY slow week at work.   I literally have very little to do and have been leaving earlier than usual.   I am busy outside of work which makes it that much harder to sit and do very little for several hours.   I am just thinking about all that I could be doing, like taking down the Christmas decorations.

These holidays usually stress me out to no end, I think I am handling things pretty well this year.   Lets just hope I can get through the next week of more parties and get togethers.

I am really ready for it to be over!

Graduation 2017

I am starting to get sentimental and misty eyed thinking of my oldest daughter who is graduating from college this Saturday.     She will soon be in the “adult” world.   She is going to be a teacher …. high school English., yes she is always correcting my grammar and spelling and I am sure she would have a field day with the sentence structure in this blog.

I am very proud of her and her accomplishments and her passion for her chosen field.   She spent a summer in Ecuador getting her teaching certificate for teaching English as a foreign language.  Her minor is Spanish.    She loved the experience and the people and the Country.    She will be heading to Spain soon to officially complete her degree by student teaching in an English speaking school there.    I could never do some of the things she has done and I am in awe of her sense of adventure and independence.

But that young adult is still my first baby.    It has been an amazing journey to watch her grow and learn and become a grown up.     It is often said, but seriously where has time gone?  How did my baby become a young woman?  Time keeps marching on and I grow more sentimental and misty eyed as I reflect on where we have been as a mother / daughter and how we came out on the other side of those crazy toddler and teenage years.   Our relationship has grown and matured along with her (and me too)

On Saturday I will proudly watch as she walks in the graduation ceremony and I am sure there will be tears for the days that have gone by and excitement for those yet to come.

Love you Allie

3 years and counting

Today was a milestone kind of day.    Today I have 3 years of  continuous sobriety.  As I have written before I have been in the program for a number of years …. since 2007, but I just couldn’t stay sober to save my life.   Previously my longest stint in sobriety was 2 years and 9 months in 2012.

I really don’t have that constant obsession to drink and use as I once did and for that I am grateful.   I am not going to say I never think about it, because that is not true, I still do on occasion.  But the thoughts are fleeting.

I have a lot of people to thank for where I am at today.   I have a wonderful group of sober friends and a great support system.   Not just for not drinking, but for life in general.

I am really happy and proud of myself for getting to this milestone and it is my plan to keep going.     My biggest fear is another relapse and disappointing all those who have helped me get to this point, but on the other hand …. relapse, it is what I usual do.  Can I break the cycle?