Sponsorship

Today day is the day one of my sponsees hit the one year sober mark.   My first one to do so and I couldn’t be happier.    I have had 5 girls over time and 3 or maybe 2 that I am actively working with.     I am so proud of this girl, she is doing the deal.   She came in to AA and sobriety and never looked back.     I wish I could have done it that way, but that wasn’t my journey.

One of my girls is actively drinking.   She got her 30 days a couple of weeks ago and then a 24 hour token last week and is back in the bottle.    I wish I could help those in active addiction more.   I just want to shake her and tell her there is a better way to live.   All I can do at this time is let her know that I am here for her when she is ready and pray for her and her son that is caught in her web of addiction.   I feel so helpless and it is not a good feeling.   As a sponsor, I feel a little bit like I have failed her even though I know it is her choice.   I can’t make her drink and I can’t make her be sober.

My other girl is doing well.    She had a relapse in September so she will be coming up on 9 months.    She has had some challenges that we have worked through and I think she has finally found some peace in her situation.

But as for my 1 year girl … I get to give her a special 1 year token on Saturday at the big meeting.   I hope I can find the words to do her justice.   1 year is a big deal.

I love being a sponsor even though it is challenging at times, I love helping others in the best way I can.    Sometimes though I feel like how can I help them when sometimes I can’t even help myself.   They keep me sober and honest with myself.    I don’t want to fail them, I want to be the best example of sobriety that I can be.