I was at a twelve step meeting the other day …. I forget the topic, but we were reading from “As Bill Sees It, The AA way of Life” and we read a passage on the Freedom to Choose and it really got me to thinking more about the choices we have in life.
When I talked with my sponsor (in the past) about really wanting to drink or other things with a possible negative outcome, she would always tell me in part that the choice was mine. I didn’t like that or understand it, but now I do. In the past while in active addiction, I really didn’t have a choice. Sober, I always have the choice to do what is right or to do what is wrong. My journey, my choice.
In the “As Bill Sees It” reading it says: “Looking back, we see that our freedom to choose badly was not, after all, a very real freedom. When we chose because we must this was not a free choice either, But it got us started in the right direction. When we chose because we ought to , we were really doing better. This time we were earning some freedom, making ourselves ready for more. But when, now and then, we could gladly make right choices without rebellion, hold-out, or conflict, then we had our first view of what perfect freedom under God’s will could be like.”
For awhile I felt trapped into being sober, like I had no choice because of my commitment to my sponsees and my position on the board at our local meeting club. In reality I chose to do things to help keep me in line and to keep me sober and doing the next right thing. I always have the choice to give up those things and return to a life a despair. My journey, my choice.
Today, I like the choices I have made in staying sober and my commitment to helping others. My life, my family, my friends are all better because of the choices I have made in the past several years.
Today I choose to be sober …. Happy, Joyous and Free!