Some of the gloominess lingers, but you would not know it. It is a feeling way down deep inside of me. I am certainly not as bad off as I was just a few weeks ago, maybe the med change and therapy has helped …. I don’t know. I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow and a follow up with the Dr. about the meds. Not sure what to say or do.
It is hard though to be too gloomy, I just got home from a week of warm sunshine and beaches in Siesta Key. It was good to get away with Steve. My Mom and her husband, one brother and sis in law and my 3 year old niece were also there. Caroline really made the trip more enjoyable and exciting … everything is exciting to a 3 year old. She is such a good girl and a lot of fun. Some of the time though all the family and activity was just too much for me to handle. I did get an afternoon alone while everyone else went off on an adventure. It was much needed and helpful, although I could have used more.
I didn’t really feel like drinking while I was away. I was around a lot of alcohol. My Mom had about a dozen bottles of wine and alcohol just sitting on the counter. It would have been easy to have a slip. Who doesn’t want to have drink on the beach? I miss it and I don’t miss it. It is hard to explain.
I really miss my routine and my recovery peeps when I am away. I am such a creature of habit and a homebody. Though I do enjoy getting away on occasion, I mostly like being at home. I did not go to any recovery meetings last week and that makes me a little antsy. We got home yesterday and I have already been to 2 meetings to make up for lost time.
So will the gloominess continue to linger or is a new day dawning on my funky feelings. I guess only time will tell. Today though I can find the gratitude and good and that is progress!