Zoom virtual meet ups have become the thing that is holding everything together during this time of stay at home orders and isolation.
The key for me is the virtual 12 step meetings that I am attending almost on a daily basis. It is helping me to stay somewhat sane. It is important to connect with my tribe, my peeps, my friends even though it is only virtually. It is comforting to be among like minded folks and the fellowship. AA Zoom meetings are taking off like wildfire across the country. But AA’s aren’t the only ones meeting virtually.
Friends are getting together for virtual happy hours and meet ups. I was in a virtual happy hour conversation with some of my old sorority sisters the other night. There were 6 of us. They are drinkers, I was a drinker – they don’t know I am now in recovery. I haven’t seen some of them in 25 or so years except for Facebook interactions. I will admit it was fun to see them and catch up some. But of course the conversation turned to alcohol consumption – where they drink, what they drink, who threw up last from drinking, when we would all get together for the next drinking event, even my beloved Xanax was mentioned ……. I was starting to get that stinking thinking and triggered by all the “fun” drinking talk and memories. I had nothing to add to the conversation and I felt awkward. It was pity pot time, why do I have to be different?
What I realize today after the fact, as much as I love those girls from college, they are no longer my people. Sure I could join them in a drink, but that is not who I am today. I am not going to lie, I would love to be able to hang out with them and be part of the group that I once was. But I have grown and I have evolved into a different person from what I once was. I hate that drinking is the bind in some relationships and such a part of our culture. More than anything with the drinking conversation I got annoyed. I excused myself from the virtual group and conversation and went on my merry way, to call those who are now my friends, my peeps, my tribe and that was were I belonged.