And the Point Is …..?

Does anyone ever really think ….. What is the point?

I often ponder why I was put on this earth and what I am supposed to accomplish.   It is a heavy question and a burden.

I know I am supposed to be a good person of faith, love and compassion.   But is there more?    Was I put on this earth to suffer with my disease of Ulcerative Colitis, addiction, depression and anxiety so I could help and be of service to others?   Surely I didn’t go through those things for no reason …. the outcome of those issues is that I am a stronger more compassionate understanding individual.  Maybe it is all to help me grow into the person that I am supposed to be.   I don’t know.

For awhile I thought my purpose was to be a Mom and it was, but my children are grown and on their own now.   Yes, I am still their Mother, but in a different capacity.

Maybe there is no point after all and it is just life and then we die.

But I have to believe there has to be a purpose to this journey here on earth or there wouldn’t be a point to be here and to participate in this life.

I often pray to know God’s will for me and the only thing that I know for sure is that He wants me to be Sober and of Service …. maybe that is the point and the only point and I  have to let that be enough, but is it enough?

 

Father’s Day

Father’s Day is always now kind of bitter sweet.    As I am scrolling thru Facebook I see all these happy faces of friends with their Fathers.   I am grateful for my Daddy who was taken away from us too soon, 9 years ago at age 65.    I had a wonderful Father who taught me so much about about living, loving, God and family.   I was truly blessed with the Father that I had and I treasure the memories I have.

I also have a wonderful husband who is the Father of my children.   I couldn’t ask for a better guy.   He has some of the great qualities my own Father had and they were close.

I know my Dad in heaven is proud of us and our family.   I just miss him so much.   I have the sense that he is around in a spiritual way, but I do wish he was still on earth to impart his wisdom on us all and to see his children and grandchildren thrive as well as our family business.    I wish he was alive to enjoy the fruits of his labor.

So I may be a little jealous of all the Father’s Day photos I see on Facebook.   But I would not trade or change the Father I had for anything.    I love you Daddy!