On The Move

Day 3 of life in our new home. It is utter chaos at the moment. It really is a daunting task to find a place for everything in a new space. I am sure we will arrange and rearrange several more times before we are satisfied. We are finding things we forgot we had as a lot was packed away in storage the past 6 months.

I do love this new house and the neighborhood. The neighbors met so far have been over the top nice and welcoming. It is odd though being further away from all my places and people. I am sure it will take some getting used to and all will be fine.

Unpacking is interesting. Wondering why some things were kept in the first place and so many boxes to still open. Each one a surprise (even with the labeling). I did have an interesting find ….. old narcotic prescriptions. One for Steve and one that was mine. Like from 2017 and 2019, but that doesn’t matter. It sure did make this addict’s brain go there. It makes me wonder if there will ever be a time that I won’t be tempted by such find. They probably aren’t even good anymore since they are so old. But I did tell I found them …. to my sponsor and therapist. But I did keep them in the basket I found them in and then found a home for it. Maybe I will get rid of them and maybe I won’t. I don’t know why I feel the need to keep things like that. I still have that 1 left over Valium from my breast biopsy last September in my purse. Not that one will do me any good. It is weird. I guess I like knowing I have the choice and that I am in charge of what I do. Or maybe I just like white knuckling my recovery. Either way I know it is crazy thinking.

One of my friends from the AA program, who lives 2 doors down, is making the family dinner tonight and another neighbor brought us over a welcome to the neighborhood homemade coffee cake. There is still so much to do and so many new things to get used to. But I think I am going to like it here!

Day 8 / Whole30

Ok so it is Day 8 of my Whole30 diet/program and I am becoming weary.    The enthusiasm is gone for the both the diet, cooking and the label reading.  I am dying to step on the scale to see if any progress has been made to my weight or body composition (which is a no no on this program).

Am I doing the program perfectly, nope ….. but I am doing the best I can.   In the last 8 days I have broken down and had a Chai Tea Latte – though sugar-free and with non sweetened almond milk, 4 times.    It is like an addiction I can’t quite break.     I can barely stomach food in the morning so I drink a chai.    I can barely stomach all the meat and vegetables at any time, but I am trying my best to eat it, but sometimes I just want to puke!  I am tired mostly of the upset tummy.   With my internal set up with no colon and a shortened small intestine  – I don’t know if I can handle all this whole food stuff.  Too much of a good thing may not be good, cause I sure am feeling it.  I am craving carbs!

I want to eat healthy for the long term and get healthy, but Wow – this is difficult!

So for now I will continue to do the best that I can and if I have to cheat a little bit, I am still doing better and eating better than I have in a long time.  It might not be the whole reset of the body and mind that is the purpose of this diet.   This all or nothing thinking has to go!!!!